Collective

My cousin E told me about the fainting incident in Texas when I told her about the meltdown series. (Last week in my class, about three quarters of the girls broke down sobbing and were inconsolable. Five, including me, cut English to go to the guidance counselor. Even though she forced our teacher to excuse us, we were given a pop quiz the next to make sure we'd been paying attention in the class - that we had missed.) Apparently, around my age, girls are extremely social and look to each other for guidance on what to wear, to say, and how to act. In Texas, a girl fainted at her school. Suddenly, all the girls were fainting. Physically fainting, although medically there was no explanation. It went on for months like this, the girls' minds forcing them to faint inexplicably. This, E suggested, was akin to the meltdown series.

Sometimes it feels like it's over. We no longer cry during lunch. We manage to finish our projects - or at least hope we will. But I still feel the perpetual sense of helplessness throughout our little group. Wednesday is looming: Science fair in the morning, then performing our melodrama, the math placement exam, callbacks for the school play, rehearsal for the other school play, lacrosse practice, and a baseball game. We cower and try not to think about. That's my explanation for the calm: No one is thinking about it. If we were all thinking about, we'd all be fainting, wouldn't we?